I enlisted my roommate in this activity. She is 21 years old and is a student at UWRF. I have known her since January (5 months) and we are close friends. First, I asked her to help me with my assignment and asked about American history. Of course, I did not say anything about this observation and I just asked about history, stating that this information would help my study. When she started speaking, she looked at my eyes and then she smiled and hid her eyes with her hand. While she was speaking, she looked right front and rarely looked at me. She looked at me only when she wanted to stress her words or when I asked her questions. I thought that was not good because of the rule “do not break eye contact”. So, I bent my body little bit forward and stared into her eyes. Then she started speaking with her eyes closed. I felt really sorry for her because she obviously felt uncomfortable.
After a while, I pretended I was in a deadlock of writing a paper in front of a PC and asked her another question. This time, she used hand gestures, and I felt she was looking at me more than the last observation with eye contact. However, she spoke down and sounded less enthusiastic.
The next day, I went to a grocery store with my roommate and did “back me up”. We were walking on a sidewalk and I slowly moved close to her. However, we never collided because she was trying to keep a constant distance between us. When I moved close to her, she slowed down, or stopped and she had me walk first. I think she did not realize that I was deliberately walking close to her because we kept chatting as usual and I did not read any negative nonverbal cues from her facial expression. Finally, when she was walking too close to a wall, she said “Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing? Walk straight! ”
After we got home, I told her about this observation and what nonverbal cues I read from her nonverbal behaviors. She said she did feel weird when I did the first observation with eye contact. However, she did not realize that she hid her face or spoke with her eyes closed. She felt comfortable with the second observation with no eye contact, but she wondered if I really wanted to listen to her story or not. She also said I looked like I was not that interested in what she said. About the third observation, she thought I was just fooling. According to her, I usually walk very much like I did in the observation. Therefore, she walked carefully, as usual, to not collide with me.
I chose my roommate as an examinee of this observation. However, if I chose a boy friend, the result would be different. I guess if I stared at him, he would have stared at me. If I walked close to him, he would not have kept his distance. Nonverbal behaviors not only change in different cultures, but also change what kind of relationship they are in. For example, when I say “Hi” to my neighbor without eye contact, I think it is little rude. However, when I say “Good morning” to my family without eye contact, it is not rude. Do you agree that nonverbal behavior could change due to a person’s relationship? Why yes or why not?
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I think nonverbal behavior definitely changes both due to a person's relationship and due to the situation you are in. I did the back up game with my boyfriend, and he let me get much closer to him than a friend would have. However, since we were having a face to face conversation, he still wanted to maintain some distance between us and didn't let me touch him. If we weren't having a conversation and I simply walked up closer and closer to him, he probably would have let me walk until we touched. I think the more you know someone and the more comfortable you are with them, the closer you sit, walk, etc.
返信削除yes I think that the relationship that you have with the person makes a big difference. If you are not that comfortable with the person then when you would start to walk closer to the person they would back up and keep their distance. If you had a good relationship with the person then they would be more comfortable standing closer to you.
返信削除Yes, definitely. Families are more casual and more close knit usually so they understand each other’s little peculiarities. I think a family that maintains strict formalities wouldn’t necessarily be a real close knit one, and I would have to assume there would be a high amount of stress involved in being a family member. Imagine what it’s like to be the Prince of Wales talking to your father or grandmother. How stressful might that be?
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