When people communicate, verbal communication is necessary to tell other people what you think and what you believe. However, nonverbal communication can tell us what people think more directly than verbal communication sometimes.
I observed a couple at a restaurant. They must have been around 20 years old and they were eating lunch together. The man wore a red cap and a gray sweat shirt, and was shaking his legs the entire time, crossing and uncrossing his legs constantly. Also, he hid his mouth with his hands when he talked. The woman wore a blue parka and jeans, and was playing with her hair with her finger and shaking her left leg. Both of them leaned forward and had a calm voice. Sometimes I could see their smiles and the air around them was peaceful. When they were leaving the table, the man stood up first and went out. However, I never saw them touch each other.
I read some nonverbal communication from their behavior and voices. First, they might have just started seeing each other a few weeks or a month ago, because they were shaking their legs and this showed tenseness or stress. Moreover, the man was hiding his mouth when he talked to her. This meant he wanted to hide something, perhaps his thoughts. Also, he was not relaxed. In addition, the woman was playing with her hair with her finger and it was one of her grooming behaviors. She tried to show him her beauty through this action. The most important part is they were leaning forward. This obviously showed they were interested in the conversation or each other. I put together these elements and guessed they were seeing each other only for a few weeks.
From this observation, I found that nonverbal communication is more obvious than verbal communication, and we can assume peoples’ feeling from nonverbal cues such as eye contact, body movements, voice tone, and distance. For example, the couple was eating lunch together, and sometimes I could see their smiles. However, their body language, such as hiding his mouth with his hands while talking, and their shaking legs showed slight tenseness. The man might have thought if he touched her hand now, she could have been surprised, and perhaps hate him. The woman might have thought does he really think she is pretty or enjoy staying with her. You cannot see these thoughts but you can feel what they think through nonverbal cues. The meanings of nonverbal communication depend on a user’s culture, age, gender, and other various factors. Additionally, nonverbal communication can not only make verbal communication more clear and effective, but also change the meaning of verbal communication. Moreover, surprisingly, most people use nonverbal cues unconsciously, and I think this is one of the interesting parts of communication.
While I observed the couple, I believe they were more than friends. I knew that from their behavior. Then, how would people’s nonverbal communication (eye contact, body movements, voice tone, and space between them) change if they are friends, coworkers, or family? Please share your idea with me.
I agree with you. Nonverbal communication is definitely interesting and can tell us a lot about people. Couples, especially if they have been dating a while, tend to touch one another more and smile at each other more than people who are just friends. Friends are usually relaxed around one another, as seen in their posture. Family members tend to be the most relaxed because they know one another very well. Coworkers sit slightly farther apart than people who are good friends, and they may be less relaxed (they will sit more upright). If people are uncomfortable with one another, they make less eye contact and sit more rigidly.
返信削除I like what you said "you cannot see these thoughts but you can feel what they think through nonverbal cues". This is such a good point because I so often try to identify people's nonverbal cues to determine how they feel and the meaning behind what is being communicated. You can tell a lot about a person if they make eye contact with you. I think nonverbal communication is important to understand so you can differenciate between relationships-such as friends, family and coworkers. The more comfortable you are with someone the more intimate your nonverbal cues will be.
返信削除I also observed a couple, I noticed that they held hands and their space bubble between one another was pretty much not there. coworkers would have more space between them and they probably wouldn't touch eachother very often. friends, I think would stand closer to one another but probably still not touch every often.
返信削除I believe we allow people we know to enter are personal boundaries. We allow friends and family to get physically closer to us, to lean in more without feeling uncomfortable, to touch us when communicating, and show more expression in responding when communicating. When it is people we don’t know, or people we have not developed a relationship with, we feel are personal boundaries are violated if they get too close to us and it makes communication much harder, probably because we are focused on our reaction to the violation than what is actually being said. I just read, for another class, about Arabic’s and their tendency to get physically very close when communicating, and it has nothing to do with trying to violate personal boundaries; they don't even know there is such a concept. When it comes to personal boundaries when communicating, different cultures see and react to these differently. In the U.S. we do like to keep our personal boundary intact when dealing with strangers or even business associates.
返信削除Such an interesting observation to watch a couple isn't it? Without hearing their conversation, or seeing them touch I liked how you observed this couple. You asked about the type nonverbal cues we could pick up if perhaps they were not "dating" as was assumed. How do we really know that they were? I would like to introduce the possibility that they were related, as a brother and sister for example. Leaning forward can suggest that they had an intimate bond or it can suggest that they are planning something, or want their conversation to remain very private. Movement such as leg movement can suggest impatience, and the inability to focus easily. What about the young woman's hair twirling? Yes, it can easily be a method of grooming and suggest attraction, or simply a bad habit.
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